Okay today could be the day… we could be getting the keys to the new house…
Mmm well that is a key… but it is a piccy for you to look at anyway isn’t it… makes it more interesting than a blank page and my dribble!
SO today could be the day…. I don’t think we will be moving today or tonight.. Daughter is coming over tonight.. and we will probably move tomorrow after OH gets back from work… but he still has to work on Saturday and I have to somehow get my salon sort of set up for Monday eve for clients… don’t think I am going to manage that and the rest of the house and do this one.
But also it is also saying goodbye to the rest of everything else… what… well the family that have been mean to me… I know once I close that door there is no going back for me. It hurts me deeply and I know they have made their choice and I am finding very hard to come to terms with… but this is it. Family who I thought I could trust all my life… a father and twin brother gone out of my life. I am also leaving my trusted deepest friend who passed away my little rabbit Ollie who is buried in the garden.
I know some think that is “Oh well” or stupid… as I won’t live here for ever… but I am holding on to all the love I can get at the moment and I know he loved me…. the way he would greet me from work every day and want me to stroke his head at night and follow me around the house like a puppy.
Crying… I have done a lot in this house… and it is time to let go… to go to new things .. new pastures… what ever they are I don’t know but I have to try to remain positive.
Sad that my brother is bad mouthing me to my sister in law who refused to tell me but did tell my mother in law who did tell me. I don’t at this moment feel I can trust anyone.
BUT….I have to put it all behind me and heal… I still cry for my sister passed and she is never coming back and I guess I am now the same to them… so onwards and upwards and maybe when I am more settled… I might be settled enough that I might actually lose weight.
I might actually concentrate on myself and not them… although they will always be in my thoughts… that is where they will remain from now on.
So lets smile … okay let me move all the boxes first .. unpack and get everything sorted then I will smile lol.
Happy thoughts to you all today…
PS. Head is still bad.. upped meds even more think that is why I am even more emotional and tired.. but pain gone first then worry about the rest.