Time and betrayal

Back stabbing ……….

It has been along time since I have been here to write how I feel..what is going on in my life and how things are just generally………and here I am…

What has been going on. … get comfy!

Last year after the fire I decided to work for my father and do my own business.  Left my job and thought that this was the start of better things… how wrong I was!

That didn’t work out.. he has turned against me to the point that I get a call from the estate agents to say that they are coming round to value the house.  Yes he is selling the house from under me… not even a call.. text or anything.

I found out that my own bother knew this was about to happen and didn’t warn me..my own twin.  Not that I expect him to do anything for me or us.. but to just let me know ..

So I feel completely stabbed in the back!

I went on a downer for a while.. a big downer to the fact that I couldn’t even go out the door…..but just as I start to get things together yet again… the call comes from the estate agents.  It just always seems one thing after another.  Having just launched my business… I will now have to restart again!

So OH and I have found another home and we are due to move soon…. life is changing again.  Do you ever notice that every so many years that your lifes path just takes a shift and it changes… you change and you can either know where you are going or you just drift along for a while till you do know where you are going.

I think what hurts the most is that I have been to my father and spoken to him so many times and I thought all was okay to a point .. maybe never the same as it was but something to build on to now that he puts the phone down on me and I don’t honestly know what I am to say sorry for anymore.  The most painful thing is that he has lost one daughter … and he is now loosing another through choice….I know that once we move there will be no going back.  I have tried for a year.. puting out the olive branch.. but I just can’t take the hurt anymore.

To be honest I don’t think I deserve to be hurt by them anymore.  I love them all… I will always love them… I have always been very family orientated… but seems that I am the only one.  So onwards and upwards.

Have I lost weight… nope.. I feel so much bigger.. I really think the stress of it all is just not doing me any good.  My shoulder has been bad that they have wanted to inject it.. but I am awaiting blood results first.  But on some painkillers for arthritis and have to say… they work!  Just don’t want to be on them for good!!

My head condition has been on and off… the cold days are drawing in so it has been twinging more and more now, so I just have to try and keep it warm.  That along with my shoulder.

I want a new body!

Actually I have missed coming on rambling….The other larger than life is now getting smaller each day as she has had her op and although it has messed up with her sugar levels and she feels sick a lot… the last photo I saw she looks stunning!

So all… hope you are all well.  Keep smiling.


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