How well you move!

I was mowing the lawn 2 days ago.. and seeing as it takes me 2 hours to do it.. not because I am so fat.. but that it is a large garden.. but I am big… anyway…you get to thinking don’t you when you are walking up and down .. weaving in and out of plants and trying to dodge the pot holes… but I had recalled something one of my mother-in-laws had said to me.

Yes … I have two of them so that can be double insults.. but anyway.. with the OH’s family they are just so weight obsessed and I mean obsessed.. I know within 2 mins of being in a house with them they are talking weight… anyway.. one said to me once..

“I am amazed at how well you move”…….. how well I move.. you know to me it was always put one foot in front of the other… but it dawned on me what she mean… well how do you move with all that weight!

Now look I am not a size 10, but I am not the biggest person in the world either…. but why do people come out with these things?  What gives them the right? Do they think they are helping? Or just that they have a given right to upset someones feelings? 

I don’t fester on this.. well I guess I do or did for a while or maybe it still does cross my mind… I mean.. let me put it this way… this lady is lovely.. funny… but aged because of terrible skin damage.  I wonder how she would feel if I told her that she looked at least 20 years older due to this. (I know because of my original profession). I know it would upset her.. so I keep my mouth shut and find something nice to say.. ie a hair cut or a skirt or something.

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I am going to swear here so please turn away.  … but what gives her or anyone else the f*****g right to judge me.

So much I have realised lately… my eyes are opening… and now that I am not being what others want me to be.. they say “I’ve changed”

Maybe they just never really knew me at all in the first place.. but I do know.. I would never go out of my way to hurt someone like that… think before I speak (well not on here)!!

Food.. nothing changed there.. still hate myself for that.. head ins’t in the right place.. some would say that is an excuse.. well suck it up.. I don’t care… this is my life.  I don’t sit and eat all day.. I don’t eat cream cakes.. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink.. in fact what the hell do I do?

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