Emotional Positive Thinking….It will work for you!

Oh I want to write this but have to watch the rest of the film with my OH… so I promise I will be back as soon as it finishes… don’t go anywhere !!

Okay here we go… not an image you want but it is where I remembered.. I was sat

Soaking in the bath!

in the bath and I was running through my own mind thinking OMG… I can put what I used to help others with empathy into practice here with emotional positive thinking!!

I am going to teach you how!

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the atmosphere?

Thought you could cut it with a knife?   Or…Happy and run through a field full of flowers on a sunny day smiling laughing and really happy?

How it works…..if you can find the trigger… you can change it!… Yes you CAN!  I also believe it is called a stigma… but we won’t go down that road….

But let me give you an example…. of feelings.  What they can do… How you can change them to help you.

How would you feel if:…. your sat on your sofa and some music comes on that reminds you of a very sad moment in your life……………….. You start to relive it in your mind………….. Think of this moment in your mind for a while………………….. What happened.. ……………..who it was with, ……………what was said……………… how it turned out.

How do you feel?

Every time you hear the song, it brings back these memories and they hurt, you want to crumble, run and hide and maybe just eat.  These are trigger points… and sometimes we say to ourselves.. Yeah I have got over that… but deep down we haven’t.

So when we have these trigger moments… they bring us down and make us want to sabotage what we have done… they make us weak or make us feel …

What’s the point…

Who cares

Why should I bother

They didn’t love me so why should I

It’s only one… which we both know leads to more….

Are you still with me?…. So okay … we can’t confront all trigger points in one day… but you can start to look for them…

When you get your trigger point…realise it is one… and recall that it isn’t your fault.

Another example.

I don’t like myself… I think of my mother and I get very upset… and start to feel useless… worthless, pathetic, if she doens’t love me .. why should I or anyone else….so throughout my life.. I have tried to please everyone else with the hope of being loved…. but really I craved the love of my mother…  Of course the more the triggers came (mother) and her words… your useless, worthless, don’t wear this it looks awful, thats horrible, made me think … why should I care about myself… she doesn’t and if anyone in the world should.. she should she is my mother.  and the spiral went on.  So of course the weight piled on.

It has taken years for me to realise…. that this is a trigger..

I will hear something …  or see something from my childhood and it will make me feel bad…and so I relate feeling bad to eating and hurt.

But lets think about it for a moment.  What did I actually do….. NOTHING.

I was a child… where a mother just picked on her child and didn’t show love.  Made to feel isolated and craved loved and attention.

Now when I look at it like that… it still hurts… but I don’t feel the need to grab something naughty to eat.

As I go through life… there are times my OH says things which bring on triggers… and before I would run for something to eat…. but not now!

I have always been an emotional person and I feel there are times that this hasn’t helped but this was stemmed from my childhood.

So when you walk into a room next… see what you can pick up…. is it calm… is it fraught.. … avoid the stressful areas.  People that upset you.  People that won’t support you.  Ones that drag you down.

The more you lose the more you will feel more confident and then realise that you are a person… YOU ARE WONDERFUL, and that you have a right not to listen… you are not what other people say.  You can learn to be you.

I hope this has made sense… good luck 🙂 and we will all have good and bad days and DON’T beat yourself up… remember YOU are lovely and this is for YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

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