Which would you prefer?
Or have I mistaken everything and this is really my life……………………………….
Yep this is the right one… it does seem that all around me at the moment is crumbling down. The last few weeks I have given my all for my father in his property… his new shop.
What have I done.. well I shocked myself by being on my feet all day!! Going home so dirty and dusty but felt like I had done a days work if you know what I mean or tired my best. But do you remember when you were a child and was told off…. that sick feeling in your tummy when your Mum or Dad shouted at you… well it still felt like that. It seemed that my father just wanted to have a go at me at any chance he could get. He would get cross about my brother and sister and seem to want to take it out on me. Now don’t get me wrong… having broad shoulders, I have taken a lot and can take a lot… but this week…I have just had enough.
I would get told off for saying Hello to the customers, and questioned why am I… then told not to speak to them too loud. So many things that I finally thought….. I don’t deserve that and said… I am going!
SO here I am again….but this time… I am going to do something for me… what as of yet I am not sure yet, but this is for me I think I should do.
I am at the moment I have been going through a Trigeminal Neuro moment and I am hoping that it isn’t going to get any worse. The head is thumping, My eye is a little sensitive to light and I am aware of sounds again… so at the start of the week I week I went back to my dr to see what he can do. Typical as I was due for a nerve block at the start of the month but as I wasn’t in pain then I couldn’t have it. but not that I am… this is how it goes…if feels as though my face swells and then slides… the sharp pains like pins in the cheek are sharp! But I am trying not to give it brain time… as in if I don’t think about it it won’t have more time to hurt me… but sometimes it doesn’t always work… but not a bad way of thinking eh!!
Well ATN isn’t a nice condition and it isn’t anything I would wish on anyone, at the moment some of medication has been upped to help with the pain…..so send me your healing thoughts all… I really appreciate them… thanks! Oh if you can make me thin at the same time… I will go for that too if it doesn’t involve pain as think I have had enough of that in my life!
Happy thoughts all x