A…… This is A

This is A ———

First i didnt get weighed as i said i would . I have been very  busy helping family . Thats not an excuse , the weather has been awful and its a fair walk to the chemist  where the scales are ,i have to think ahead will i make it , what do i do if i cant go any further, no where to sit ,i can remember that feeling  going for a walk and the pain in my  back being so overwhelming it reduced me to tears , so what  do you  do . I would tell someone to take a chance do it  go for it , and yet i’m here  stuck another week passed and still i havn’t been weighed.

Is it neccesary to know how much i weigh ,not sure im so fat i dont think it matters . what does matter is the fact im trying .

Over the last few days i have been out  so all food stuff’s where sandwiches  not good i know ,i have been eating ryvita in place of bread , but as i said last few days its all been bread and crisps that i have been trying to avoid ,but when stuck in a b&b and hungry  , what  do you  do , eat what is avalible . And now you  may think  why didnt she go to a market and buy something sensible ,yes i know , because she was so tired And in the middle of nowhere . Rght on a lighter note , haha i was out this evening with hubby ,sandwiches again and toast when i got home . Ahhh home yes the place where i can slip from my elasticated knickers , where its ok to let it all hang out , no, i dont want to have to sit in a car for hours travelling with a corsett on and not a pretty one , the kind that does pull you in ,so uncomfortable i felt i couldnt breathe .

BREATHING

another reason to try and get rid of this fat , i cant breathe , i dont sleep well , exhausted most of the time , going up and down stairs , well thats another prob , add the back condition to that .

I was talking to B earlier , about  what we can do , to make our lives better , well we are here because we want to help each other loose weight ,and indeed thats what we  will do ,

this blogg has been here for 4 weeks , and i have moved only  a short bit , to change food stuffs at home . i feel i am saying i’m going to do all these thing s and havnt done any , why ,why is that ,am i putting it off or is it circumstances just havnt let me .

Ok the first step for me has to be getting mobil , i have to ,i need to get out and about  and keep it going . I went sight seeing on sat 12th ,it was great walked a fair wee bit  all up hill lol was so pleased with myself , a few folk’s comented on me having sticks and walking to the place i did , one man mentioned the sheer determination on my  face to get to where i needed to go ,haha but what happened  got home that evening and missed the later half of sat night , ended up in bed with pain killers ,and that was it .felt a bit deflatted to be honest , this is not the way i want my  life , i was always an active woman , played footie with my  son’s , now days i cant even take my  grandaughter to the park ,which is 5 mins away , its sad .

So here i go again , im off out with hubby wed night , but i swear i will do something  , maybe change something , do something positive to change my  situation i will write in a few days and see what i have done , lol Most reading this will think yeah she has said this before , we will see i will make one change at least , even if its a small thing  ……

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2 thoughts on “A…… This is A

  1. Hi A…. you know… I can see what you mean about this weighing in malarky… I get the dread should I … I don’t want to and omg how can I put it off.. I know I what I put in my gob to say lol I am cheating myself aren’t I.

    Now this walk to get weighed I have been thinking… what about either every other day or every three days.. get on your sticks… and walking shoes.. and go out the door.. walk as far as you think you want to go for the first time… make a note of where it is.. don’t push yourself too hard as you don’t want to be off your feet for days… GOODNESS I know how that feels it flipping hurts :((((….. then a few days later dawn your gear on again and hope to reach a little further… and one day you will get there… and you will get weighed and also… when you finally get there my good friend.. you will have lost a bit too..

    Remember.. I am very proud of you anyway.. the thought of starting is half the battle and it is an emotional battle as well as a food battle and get fit battle….

    I might try to walk to the next bus stop and get off the stop before and walk a little more and more.. this is so hard.. I know… but we will get there …and also why do we wear the big pants.. is that to make us feel better or others when they look at us.

    If they don’t like it… STUFF them….they have problems of their own too!

  2. Yes B , thats exactly what im gonna do ,im putting it off afraid of finding out just what weight i am .so sticks at the ready tomorrow .I dont feel so hung up on getting weighed , but will need to ,it will help me know if im loosing anything , wont it . The elasticated knickers , why am i making myself uncomfortable ,who knows is it for others and they way they look at me , or is it a wee tiny confidence boost for me and back to how others look at me .

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