I have been looking into my thought process and even though there are times we all thing down and low… today I was thinking… you know….. there are a lot of bad things that happen in this world… and some to me.. well especially over the last week!!! Did you read my last blog post… anyway….
Peeps moan about the weather…. it is raining…blah blah.. but it waters our plants and good for mother earth…. it is too hot.. but without some sun we wouldn’t have strong teeth and bones….how can we please everyone.
Is it about pleasing everyone…. well I go through bouts in my life where all I feel I have done is please everyone else but myself! Yes that may sound selfish… but I do feel that… I wouldn’t change it and of course I would drop something now like writing this if A or a family member needed me. But when does it come to a you… yes YOU.
I have gone through my life saying SORRY… moved out of the way… carried things.. picked things up… cleared sick and goodness knows what up… stayed up late.. got up early… laughed and cried.. cried a lot… but I need me. Without me I am not good to anyone.
So did I mention I was finding my guide…. I am sure I did… and I called him Clarke… well sadly I have been corrected to be told his name is Steve… yes sorry but plain ole boring Steve… ops sorry Steve! Now a lot of you will be thinking OMG this woman here has lost her marbles and who the heck is she talking to!
Well it is true and it is part of my religion…. Spiritualism… each to their own… but I believe we choose our paths.. yes I know sad… as mine really does suck at time… but this is why we have friends..and this is why I feel that A and I have met and become such good firends over the years to help carry each other lol.. anyway where was I… oh yes.. we are all born with a guide…. this person is someone who will watch over us and guide us through our lives… their if we need them and can not interfere unless we ask for guidence. No they won’t give us the lottery numbers… !!
Over the years I have waited for a name for mine and then I thought… nope I am going to name him and see what happens.. so sadly No Clarke Kent or Gable… but I have Steve. I know.. Steve… oops… I don’t mean that badly for all people called Steve… or for me wanting a guide called Clarke.. but you hear sometimes of people who have exotic indian names.. haha and I have my lovely Steve!
BUT.. saying that…most if they are not interested in my religion would say… yep she has lost it..She talks to herself. She has cracked up!…Oh come on… don’t tell me you have never asked yourself something in your head why that happened or why… so who are you talking to? Well I am talking to Steve…. I am not saying he sits there and has a cup of tea with me lol and we chat about the weather haha. But anyway… I also do sometimes think… have I lost it… but I know I haven’t! Or have I.. is it cause I am depressed or low at the moment.
Anyway I have anyother way for you to look at it… if thre is something wrong or a distaster and you need help or a family member is in need… a lot of people pray.. please lord.. I won’t ever ask again .. I will be good… I will give up smoking etc… So what is the difference.. you prayed to …. whom ever and can believe in god, divine, etc so I have my Steve… so he better not let me down lol
I have asked Steve to help me from my painful negative stage to move forward… and I sort of have an insight… Oh no he doesn’t sit there at a table and tell me what to do lol….but it is like oh it is not good me trying to explain… it is just my way… but I have to get rid of my negative thoughts so when I have one.. Steve will be there listening to me… telling me to say turn that to a positive…. Odd you say.. well I know it sounds it.
Physio tonight and I have to push myself more.. and get up and go.. not sit around as much and get up and walk and stretch… when I say get up and go.. it isn’t about carrying or fetching it isn’t shopping or standing at the cooker or the sink lol…