B……..Odd day

What a day…..I started off rather positive and got to work to find a note which well got me cross to say the least and sort of set the day….of peeps moaning etc.

Here I am at silly o’clock and should be in be in my lounge with my back throbbing….had a spasm earlier on and now worried it is going to go again……but not just that wondering where life if going….time to visit my dr I think…..too many tears….I even cried at the physio today cause she asked me to take a deep breath and relax….what was I scared of? Life will go on without me? Letting go…but of what…all the pain? Yes I think that is what it is!!

I have just kept quiet for so many years, never saying anything and now I realise I can let go…all the hurt through my childhood of a mother who never loved me, my sister who I miss so much I ache, the dread of the phone ringing as it is only someone to complain or moan at or about me. A marriage that isn’t really working anymore….how sad is that after many years, Why have I been holding on to it….I don’t know….but maybe through my journey I will find out!

I hope Ais okay?

Reason to be slim…not hold on to the past

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