B…Feeling mega fat

Okay I have done it to myself again…..everyone nagging this morning…not well..parking fines…car insurance…blah blah. My throat is sore so I ate a load of chocolate fingers packet of crisps and some …darn what are they called…….oh yes mini chedders….yes omg I hate myself now! Fat on to of Fat….what’s up with me!!! Would I be happy to let someone in the street punch me? NO….so why am I happy to do this to myself….or not as the case may be!

Reason to be slim…Not to beat myself up mentally!

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One thought on “B…Feeling mega fat

  1. B…… Afternoon and thought maybe I should leave one post a day and put the rest under comments… otherwise it looks lilke I am taking over. Not sure how I will do that on my phone but I will work it out.. or I will just have to do another post.

    The afternoon is going quickly… dinner this evening and to be honest feel slow and sluggish… not suprised and I have had those darn biscuits and what not.. what should I expect.. still just want to just sleep.

    Feeling tired all the time is also I guess a part and parcel of being fat… I HATE that word FAT… it brings back so many memories of when I was a child and how left out I felt. Even to this day how I have stopped doing things so I don’t have to be in public. The only time I sort of feel normalish is when I am at home and then I am not sure I like people coming to that! How awful is that… what time am I wasting of my life…. years of it! I know I am not the only one to have felt like this … and I won’t be the last eh A… but this is me and this is us and this is how we feel and only we can do something about it.

    I hate it when people say.. exercise more… come on you skinny bitch…. okay only someone who is what in the range of 9 – 11 stone will say that to you…well lets grab a load of stones and put them in a bag and make them the same weight as us as we are now and see how they are for running around…put them in a fat suit for a few weeks that weigh as much as us as see how they feel… they will feel trapped like we do.

    Oh don’t give me the… it is your fault you are like what you are!! Part of it is… I have always been big… this is no excuse…I know that…I am also on medication which I have ballooned on… I have lost 2 stone.. but it is like fighting the wind you can not see to go in a direction that it doesn’t want you to go in. It gets very tiring after a while and is very soul distroying and well just drags you down and down… till you either eat yourself to death or do something about it.

    But what is needed… and what is important …. most important…. SUPPORT. No matter how little or big… support is the best thing to keep you on track and to your goal.

    Reason to be slim….. Not to be called FAT anymore.

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