B: A snippet into my life!

I am middle aged… yes I have to finally admit it… there you go… MIDDLE AGE… with more than middle age spread…  all my life I have been battling with my weight and it dawns on me what a waste of my life … why have I been trying to do this?   To please others,… to please myself?  Health?

Now it is for me again… and my health… what health problems do I have… how long do we have!!!!

I have a rare condition to the head called The Suicide Disease… Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia… also a problem with the Occipital Nerve.   A mixture of tablets for this.. that the specialist change all the time.  Waiting for a nerve injection at the hospital.. not looking forward to that and go from there!

A problem with my stomach where my body produces too much acid….tablets

A back/neck problem that are awfully painful…spray and gel and painkillers… physio

I would love to have that normal life of a healthy person with no weight or health problems…. so with losing weight again I might actually start to feel a little more normal… but what is nornal.

Some years ago I lost my sister and this had a major impact on my life and has turned my life upside down and I don’t think I will ever come to terms to the fact that she isnt’ here with me anymore.  I want to turn back time to hold her tight and and never let her go, to hear her voice, smell  her purfume and look at her hands and see her beautiful smile (tears are now streaming I am an emotional person… probably too much!) but I know I won’t…. I still go to phone her and want to talk to her… and feel lost and empty and alone.


Reason to slim:  Feel more confident







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